I
f you’ve ever wondered what government waste looks like, imagine this: billions of your tax dollars being spent on federal office space that’s emptier than a congressional promise. Only 6% of federal employees are showing up full-time in person, and nearly a third are permanently remote. Meanwhile, federal buildings in D.C. are running at a dismal 12% occupancy. Think about it—Washington, once a bustling center of governance, has been reduced to a taxpayer-funded ghost town.
Where’s the Productivity?
Here’s the kicker: nobody really knows what these remote workers are doing. Are they working hard or hardly working? The answer might be obvious when you consider this gem of a story: the Secretary of Defense was hospitalized, and no one noticed. Let that sink in. Aliens could have abducted the person responsible for national defense, and remote workers wouldn’t have batted an eye.
Accountability, it seems, is just another thing that’s “out of office.“
Unions: Heroes of the Unproductive
Federal unions, always quick to defend the indefensible, are throwing up roadblocks to returning workers to their desks. They demand “negotiations“ to discuss any changes to remote work policies—a fancy way of saying, “Let’s stall until the problem goes away.“ While unions claim to protect worker rights, let’s be honest: what they’re really defending is a cushy setup that lets workers collect taxpayer-funded paychecks from their couch. Or maybe their beach house.
Fraud, Sweet Fraud
But wait—it gets better—or worse. Some remote workers have been gaming the system by claiming they live in high-cost areas to score inflated locality pay. All while they’re actually living in low-cost regions, pocketing the difference. It’s fraud, plain and simple, and it’s coming straight out of your wallet.
Here’s what needs to happen:
- Audit Their Stories: Federal agencies must cross-check where employees work. Spoiler alert: it’s probably not where they say they are.
- Claw Back the Cash: Any overpaid funds should be returned to taxpayers—plus interest.
- Fire the Fraudsters: Fraudulent employees should lose their jobs. Period. And if the law allows, they should face prosecution.
The Return-to-Work Revolution
The private sector has figured out what the government apparently cannot. Companies like Amazon and Dell require employees to spend a majority of their workweek in the office. Why? Because showing up matters. The federal government needs to get with the program.
Here’s a simple plan: require federal workers to spend at least 60% of their time in the office. Those who refuse? It’s time to let them go. A Reduction in Force (RIF) can trim the fat from bloated federal departments, streamlining operations and saving taxpayers a fortune.
Offer early retirement incentives or buyouts for those on the fence. But enough with the hand-wringing—it’s time for action.
Taxpayers Deserve Better
While millions of Americans are scraping by, paying bills, and showing up for work, their government employees are collecting paychecks for who-knows-what. Empty offices, misrepresented work locations, leadership gone AWOL—all on your dime.
It’s high time the government stopped treating taxpayer money like Monopoly cash. Remote work is a privilege, not a right. And when abused, it becomes nothing less than theft.
The message to federal employees is simple: show up or ship out. Taxpayers are hurting and deserve a government that works as hard as they do.
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